Abstract. Using Newton's Law of Cooling and 18 months of meeting attendance data, we identify the Optimal Sip Window (OSW) - the interval during which coffee is both drinkable and the meeting has not yet become unbearable.

Methods. Coffee temperature was logged at 30-second intervals across 340 meetings using a calibrated thermocouple concealed in a novelty mug. Meeting quality was assessed via a validated single-item instrument: "Are you okay?"

Key Finding. The OSW closes approximately 4 minutes before any meeting scheduled for 30 minutes actually ends. For meetings scheduled for 60 minutes, the OSW does not open at all.

Recommendation. Use a thermos. Accept your fate. The coffee will be cold regardless; the question is only whether it is cold and the meeting is still happening, or merely cold.

Limitations. The author notes a potential conflict of interest, being both a researcher in and a victim of the phenomenon under study.